40 dating again

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Dating Tips - Things to consider as you re-enter the dating scene.

How to Overcome Insecurities - Learn how to move past the suspicion and uncertainty as you begin to date after your divorce.

Because of this lack of thought, Because I didn’t have a partner to share my life with, I didn’t have any little ninja or princesses raise. I was alone because I was too busy trying to write the Great American Novel.

Great American Novelists rarely have children, and if they do, it’s with a young French nanny that they were having an affair with. When you have no social life you will have a very small to non-existent circle of friends.

We waited a long time to focus on settling down, and now we’re facing a somewhat distressing fact of life: Once you’re over 40, there is a diminished pool of men to choose from.

Now you're probably a lot wiser about men (thanks to your marriage), you may have children that restrict your free time, and the club-scene may not be quite as inviting as when you were younger.

But according to TODAY’s “This is 50” survey results, only 18 percent of single people in their 50s said they were dating.

On the positive side, the age 50-plus daters seem to be pretty darn smart when choosing a date-mate.

Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date.

It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Start off with the positive and try to stay in mode before you decide he’s not right for you.

You have to work hard to find someone you really want and really like – or, as one married male friend put it, “someone normal” (apparently normal men are in short supply).

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