I wish there weren't any general rules, but courtship is a ritual. If we just threw ourselves together, then the chances of long term happiness might be compromised.
There are things that we make happen that excite, stimulate, create interest and confound. And yet previous generations managed to succeed on a far less complex courtship criteria list.
“Most women would probably say they don’t stare at men’s bodies in the same way men do women, but they’re mistaken,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of .
“I asked my friend to describe me, and here’s what he wrote…” is a cop-out.
By writing this in your profile, you’re telling people that you’re not smart or self-aware enough to write it yourself.
Most living grown-ups have a history of exes, hang-ups and maybe a nervous breakdown or two. They know that you have a past, but they don’t want to hear about it. Some online dating profiles read like shopping lists.
It also means every night is “date night.” So the way it used to work—with time to plan what you’d wear, where you’d take her, and so on—has changed. Keep a change of clothes at work, along with some deodorizing wipes and mouthwash, because who knows what’s in store.
“Sometimes women, like men, drop their standards so they can get what they want sooner,” Kerner says.
But don’t worry—FHM is here to hold your hand (in a chummy, supportive way) through the very modern minefield that is meeting lovely ladies.