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Sounds stupid.” As the stranger sitting across from me begins to tell me that you live and you die and life is just about living the most before then, I ask him what living the most entails if he’s never thought about these important questions. While few people take casual sex to this extreme, the hook-up culture at college is no rarity; 72 percent of us will hook up before we graduate. Combine free condoms, distance from home, minimal responsibility, plentiful alcohol, and parties every weekend with the fact that sex just feels good and you have an equation for casual sex. The hook-up culture may seem like an elegant solution to the college life style—reap all the benefits of an orgasm without the commitment of a relationship—but it distorts and perverts our capacity to value each other.

When sex holds pleasure as its primary motivation, when sex objectifies someone’s body, when sex requires neither respect nor companionship, only desire and a private—but that’s not even necessary—space, meaningful relationships cannot form.

Maybe participants in the hook-up culture recognize that there are deeper levels of intimacy than hooking up, but just want to enjoy college while they still can.

He answers bluntly: “The Count.” It’s his measure of how many girls he’s hooked up with since Harvard began—half a semester ago. So, what’s wrong with two people agreeing to get mutual pleasure from each other without emotional attachment? Whenever we hold hands, make intense eye contact, or have sex, we increase the concentration of oxytocin in the brain (sometimes up to 500 percent).

I would have thought it was a joke if he hadn’t begun reviewing the previous night’s expedition with his friend—two hangovers have better memory than one. Oxytocin makes us trust one another and form deep, affectionate bonds.

Message me, if you dare.”_empress_simone_ “I'm looking for a fellow free-spirit to travel around the world with. I love learning about new people and cultures and I want to meet women who are open to new things.

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