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All my friends from college/grad school are married or partnered and I feel really unwanted.

I also did well at some great schools, moved around the country, made some great friends, stopped having an eating disorder, and figured out that I don’t want to be a lawyer for the rest of my life. 1) I’m biracial and I don’t date black men, who seem to be the only men who hit on me — my dad was black and absent/alternatively horrible and a black guy raped me in college. 2) I don’t do vulnerability well because I was severely bullied in middle school.

I figured out that I’m actually really a writer and went about finishing one (really funny) screenplay and starting another. I just can’t do it, which probably makes me a racist. While I’ve been able to overcome my issues with respect to female friends, I have a hard time opening up to men because I assume that they are going to hurt me terribly and/or try to humiliate me.

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